Disposable:Racial Profiling/2 Agony of De Feet

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Starring: Duen (Andrew), Cameron (Ian), & Rynn (Brad)
Guest Starring: Brambleson (Briar King); Mr Softshoes (Cricket); Balimar and Balio (Marionette and Director)
Challenge: King of the Briar Patch; Balimar and Balio, Cameron's acting
Location: Midnight Circus; The Briar; Sanguine Playhouse
Date Played: 08 Jan 2011

Lucky Rabbit's Foot

Rynn: We headed off to search for one of the seven gems from the scarf. Together, they should be able to point to way to the meandering fortress where our toadish employer is incarcerated. Our intention was to find the Briar King, and so we just, um, headed off in a random direction. And found him. Handy. This interesting rabbit-like dude with a broken sword was friendly enough at first, and seemed a little preoccupied with fending off the encroaching forest. Nature was, I guess, just sort of drawn to him. When I asked about the gem, he saw fit to challenge me to a duel. Ugh. I couldn't think or talk my way out of it, so I begrudgingly accepted the challenge. Man, I thought I was fast and sneaky, but I ain't got NOTHING on that hare. After trying my damnedest to utilize the hit-and-run tactic that I frequently depend on to wear down my foe, that rascally anthropomorphic lagomorph beat me down like the downs-clowns that are forced to shovel elephant shit at the circus. I surrendered. But I guess all he wanted was a fight, a chance to prove his martial superiority. For he then coughed up the gem (a foot!), and told us some useful tidbits of information. And then hopped off. Ow, my ego hurts.

Duen: We've learned that we go where we want by moving & thinking where we want to be. Our first trip was to find the King of the Briar Patch.

We found the little rabbit-like chap in a trap apparently set up by the forest, but when he noticed our approach, he unsnared himself. We spoke of our quest to free our employer, & he challenged Rynn in response!

It took some convincing, but I got Rynn to accept the duel. As soon as he accepted, the duel was on.

Cameron & I made a gentleman's wager on the battle & as always, I took the side of my compatriot. Sadly, it was not to be as Rynn was finally defeated by our rabbit combatant. But we found victory in his defeat as the little warrior charged us with defeating the same conspirator who holds our employer! We accept the gem & the task as well as an additional task to return the Blade of Destiny should we come across it...

Cameron starts an acting career

Rynn: Worst. Actor. EVER. Never had I seen such a bad performance. It drove his director to homicide. The puppet. The puppeteer. The actress with her strange beasties. The wall of ice. The deep pit. The severe wounding. And the fireballs of hot death. Oh dear god, those fireballs. ALL of this intense violence came at us as a direct result of Cameron's beyond-inept portrayal of Romeo. And I can't say that I disagree with the hatred. Just plain AWFUL. At any rate, the marionette (who was really the brains of the operation) ultimately decided he would rather die in a fire than live in a world where that bad of an actor existed. He detonated a fireball, putting an end to his misery in a fiery cataclysm. We sifted through the ashes and found another gem - a white lily. A harrowing success! This seemed to delight the freshly-fired musical grasshopper, as he promptly named himself the new director there at the Sanguine Playhouse. 2 Gems down, 5 to go. I believe we have decided to set off towards the Weaver's domain, in hopes we can head off any attempts to re-mold the evil doll dude.

Duen: Next, we stumbled across the Sanguine Playhouse. The structure seems to have had better days. We are greeted inside by a cricket-man who we find goes by Mr. Softshoes.

As we find our seats, the directors (a man & his doll) approach Cameron. They say that they need an actor & he is it. I wish I could record the performance for future generations will believe I embellish when I say that there is no one on any world less meant to perform in theater than Cameron.

After sitting through the worst performance possible, the directors attack. They hinder Rynn & I as we attempt to come to Cameron's aid, but eventually, we win out.

Sadly, we suffer a casualty. Ursala, my companion lies dead at the end of battle. The human director disappears like the coward he is, but his marionette friend is there for me to vent my rage upon. I crush, mangle & destruct the dolls corpse & pray I may one day meet the little human director...

Rewards

• scarf gem: feet
• scarf gem: lily
• wand of fireballs (damaged): ?? charges

Wiki recap rewards:

• Rynn: Actorial Fortitude (Usable once): As a free action you may draw on your mental memories of Cameron's performance at the Sanguine Playhouse and add a +4 bonus to any Will save. This must be used prior to knowing the success or failure of the roll.