LRC:Wes Temple/diary

Visitors

I had an unexpected visitor last night, and I am still trying to decide if it was a welcome visit or not.

There was a man from the Halthar that ended up reaching the garrison. When I was summoned and met him I was shocked, needless to say. I immediately had hope that Alouette and Jayne made it out with him, though I was soon shown the error of that train of thought. It appears that Levistus turned Jayne to the ways of the infernals and Alouette met an ill fate.

He died soon after, though there was no time for grievances. It appears that his escape did not go unnoticed and a small troop of devils came in pursuit. They were handled easily enough, though it appears that they were low ranking and knew nothing of Levistus greater plans, or more importantly, the exact fates of Alouette or Jayne. I choked the life out of the large one, making sure he had an unpleasant return to the depths of hell.

I’m planning on conditioning myself to speak with the dead the following morning. I hope that I will be able to glean a bit more information of my family’s fate by asking some further questions.

I only hope that Alouette now knows peace. Chances are that she could never forgive me for what I have done, even though I had the best intentions at heart. If she is not at rest, I’m sure that when I travel to the ethereal plane she will seek me out. All I know is that for what I have done, she deserves some final rest. She was a good, kind wife… more than I ever deserved.

Jayne will be a different matter altogether. He is still young, but I’m sure the devils’ corruption ran quickly and with great veracity through his veins. I don’t know if I’ll be able to sway him from their powerful clutches. Perhaps if I can find how they did the purification of Jonathan Nightbringer I could do the same for my son. I have some research to do.

I am also a bit concerned of my own fates. I know the chances of failure for me are high, and I accept that. When I die, I wonder if I shall share the same fate as Sir Valans. I’ve lost faith in the gods a long time ago, and even when I had faith I did not possess a spark of divinity. It was my training at the Temple of Endless Sorrow that awoke the power inside of me. I am unsure of the true source of my power, though despite what Grim says, I do not feel as if I was stealing power from the gods. I feel it deep down in the core of me. It’s also not like I am trying to actively become a god. I mean if people wish to show a sign of worship to me, so be it, and I’m not one to tell other that what they believe is false. I feel like I’m more active than the gods at times anyway.

I have a lot to think on. I’m sure this night will not be an easy one.

Of Saints and Sinners

Some of my questions have been answered by the visitor I had the night before. It's unfortunate that I'll have to preserve his body for further questioning, though by his own words I know his soul has found rest.

I've had the feeling that I've been seen for my past discrepancies as of late. That was made more apparent to me by the confession of Grey, though more on that later.

Our trip to the ethereal did not go well. Immediately we were beset by devils, of which the wicked gaze of one caused the death of Ist'Vach and Brick. Of note, this also brought the death of Ist'Vach's child. Since I have essentially lost my son, I couldn't bare to see this to happen to her.

I knew that regardless of events that Ist'Vach would be brought back to life, though there was no guarantee for her unborn child.

Nyles Harpell was going to use a scroll to attempt to bring the unborn child to life, though I knew that the chances were slim if any for success. I knew the only way to ensure that the child would survive would be to infuse the child with my life essence.

Honestly, I was a bit unsure of what I was doing, but I yet again felt the divine spark inside of me. It grew and eventually took me over. It was like an out of body experience. I was watching myself, hands raised as they bleed, much like when I tap into the spark. To moment seemed to last for hours, but it eventually ended in blackness.

While I was out, I dreamt of Alouette and Jayne. Jayne and I were sitting down at the dinner table, and Alouette was coming over, bringing a pot that had the fragrance of her famous rabbit stew. It was just like everything was before the plague. It was perfect.

Unfortunately, perfection did not last for long. While dining, Jayne's eyes flashed a vivid red and he lunged at Alouette, gouging her neck with his dinner knife. He then leapt upon me. I wanted to defend myself, but I couldn't. I just couldn't bring myself to harm my own son.

I woke up with a scream. Those who were attending to me said it was the strain and shock of what I went through, though I knew the shocking truth. I agreed with them, and took to my rest.

When I was allowed out of bed I spent most of my time watching over the child. I wasn't allowed in for too long, but I did cherish the time I was allowed. I'm sure she will grow up to be a great little girl. What makes me feel better is that in some way she will always be a little part of me. I want to make sure she stays safe and does not make the same mistakes I have.

Grey later came up to me, proclaiming that he found himself mistaken in his judgment of me. He never proclaimed what it is, though he made it pretty obvious that his opinion before wasn't very high. It's unfortunate that it took such a sacrifice for him to truly understand me, but I'm glad that we came to some understanding.

Today was surely a bag of mixed feelings. I performed a sort of miracle, which helps confirm (at least to me) that I do possess some form of divine spark. I've also learned that I may not be able to battle my son if it came to that, my weakened state adding to the difficulty. I only hope that I can find the strength, both physically and spiritually, to take on such matters when they come.