KM:The story so far...

👑 Kingmaker session • Sat, Dec 27, 2025

• We start by getting fucked up by Soul Eaters. Lots of Wisdom damage
• Back the fuck out of the Valley of the Dead
• Call on Tristian, a cleric we barely know
• Tristian is our best friend because we want his healing
• We go back to the Valley of the Dead
• We encounter a Melademon, who casts Horrid Wilting on us
• Gilroy resorts to the 🌈 Rod of Wonder
• Later we encounter a mated pair of Forked Tail Wyverns near a pillar on a island in a waterfall
• LOOT: +2 Adamantine Pick, Scroll of Sending, GP+++
• There is a crack in the pillar, which is a tower
• We use the crack, which is a door, to enter the tower
• We encounter a Zombie Lord, a spellcasting undead (h/t @Steve ).

This is where my notes end.

BUT!

"This is the kind of dungeon where monsters will coup de grace." — warned @Daryl

👑 Kingmaker session • Sat, Jan 25, 2026

• We loot the Zombie Lord and get a Dagger +1 and a Ring of Protection +2
• We decide to explore going up
• Smoky pot stank room where we are jumped by Soul Eaters (and make quick work of them)
• We find a secret door to a not-so-secret room
• We camp in this room overnight
• Gilroy has Nightmares cast on him and he does not regain spells
• We go to leave and are jumped by a Dread Wraith—Con DRAIN—a pescodemon, and four cyclops zombies
• The wraith was ordered by the big bad to focus on spellcasters but really, really wanted to focus on Ashra instead
• The demon makes a retching cloud
• Darko finds a lever under the statue in the secret room in the middle of combat
• Exploring shows another secret room
• In our bag is a Katseye gem that is shaking. It tells Othneil not to mess with the orb in the double secret room
• Grish pulls the gem out of the wall and immediately tries to take out his eye out so he can replace it with the gem
• Ashra uses our adamantine pick to destroy the gem, which is an artifact that started to blind us as it was being destroyed.
• We find a room that flashes and wipes our memory and we have to fight the pesocodemon AGAIN.

👑 Kingmaker session • Sat, Jan 31, 2026

• We explore the room that we're in
• Find stairs going into a blank wall
• Find a kink room with a nearly dead Centaur woman
• She is the centuar we are looking for
• She shouts nonsense, quoting the bad guy
• We go down stairs and find a portculli trap that is the true "start" of the dungeon at the base of the tower
• We double back to the Tasha Yar (Tar) Room
• We find a prison section with cells (we should've fought the dread wraith here)
• The cells were used until recently to hold Varhold people
• South of the prison, there is a large room with a big table.
• 33 dead bodies of the Varnhold folks
• One of them is Hector's sister in law.
• We find a secret door to a sludge pool with an Elder Mud Elemental who is FUCKING IMMUNE TO ACID
• Gilroy uses the Rod of Wonder to stinking cloud and then summon a Rhino
• We find an eye-shaped room connected to hell.
• Ekrash goes feral in the room
• We find the Lich
• He beats the shit out of us, Dominates Ashra, and leaves.
• LICH IS FUCKING IMMUNE TO ACID
• Tristian, OUR BEST FRIEND, casts Prot Evil on Ashra, so we have 11 minutes to find the Lich.

👑 Kingmaker session • Sat, Feb 28, 2026

• The Lich left
• We search the room for the Lich's spellbook.
• Find the spellbook and treasure
• We destroy the spellbook to stop the Lich from regaining spells
• The Lich has a Porn Throne. GROSS.
• We RUN to find the Lich before Haste wears off and more importantly, ASHRA DOESN'T HURT US
• We find a Cyclops statue room, water trap activates, two zombie cyclops attack, WE RETREAT
• We stay the night in the Centaur room.
• Ashra keeps breaking free
• The Lich and zombies attack us in the night
• DARKO TARS AND FEATHERS THE LICH
• Gilroy finishes off the Lich with a PIT
• We camp in the murder room
• During Gilroy's watch we are attacked by the Lich's fucking backup demons
• The demons FUCK US UP
• We tell the demons where to find the soul room to distract them from attacking us
• Othneil freed half of the trapped people, but at least they died naturally?

👑 Kingmaker session • Sat, June 27, 2026

• Lake Silverstaff
• Mass combat!
• PCs take on the lich
• Large zombie and skeleton hordes
• 2x Ghoul units (have paralysis)
• Goblins scouts
• Human army dirty fights
• Goblins taken out IMMEDIATELY
• Amiri and rat swarms
• We win!
• We escort Samathae back to the centaurs
• Centaurs are willing to sign nonaggression pact if we don't expand in their territory
• They give us Skybolt the bow
• Years pass

👑 Kingmaker session • Sat, Aug 8, 2026

• +21k GP
• We awaken to yells from Ashra's Room
• Othneil's turn on the throne
• Sheep breeder has camouflage sheep
  • Wants to make homing birds and needs a tower
• Lindsay approaches
• She is the bard who is in charge when we aren't there.
• Recommends that we go on a tour of our kingdom.
• We tour Tatseilford (sp?)
  • Noble houses and businesses are inside of the ring
  • Ask for gold mines for jewelry
  • Tristian BEST FRIEND is building a temple to Serenrae himself
• Goblin farmlands
  • Growing moon radishes
• Stetlingrad
  • Going wild; chaos
  • Bustling trade hub
  • Nothing is built to be permenant
  • Oleg's pub is keeping adventurers busy
  • Oleg and spouse want to leave for the country
  • They are good taxidermists
• We scry the Roc
  • Dead adventurers and gear
  • Also 3 eggs
• We try hypnotic pattern but that fails
• Rush the roc
• Ekrash kills the Roc
• Treasure
  • Sparkstaff
  • Scimitar +1
  • Full plate +1
  • Bag of Holding Type I filled with Mite skulls
• We get the Roc eggs to the lodge
• Offered 2k gp to let someone make an omelet
• Roc eggs hatch as half black dragon
• Ashra on the throne
• Gnome has been working on animal messenger perch
• Letter for Valerie
• Went to temple to duel asshole
• Cult of the Peacock.

Next: KM:Aug 29, 2026: Don't mess with pixies