Vat:08 Take the Methheads Bowling

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Starring: Steve, Koz, Amiri, and Pauline
Guest Starring: Metal Meth Heads, Tom Selek "Paul", Dick Clark
Challenge: Dick Clark & his gang of thugs, and stopping "allied" metal meth heads from killing innocents
Location: Pins & Needles Bowling Alley in Verona
Date Played: 12 September 2012

BBQ, a Phone Call and a Delivery

Pauline: I was still a little sore, but we managed to pull of the pig roast. Everything lucked out- we had good weather, and everyone mostly got along. It was a nice little slice of domesticity.

On Pins & Needles

Pauline: Our break isn't that long though. Early the next week, Paddy gives us the call: Paul Ripley has a location out in Verona. Since we expect it to be a late night, we cut out of work. I spend most of the day trying to get the house in some semblance of order.

Bowling League Quarterfinals

Pauline: We head out to the bowling joint and stake the place out. It's hopping because it's a league night. Not like the League nights ol' Jim would go to (those were usually at a strip club- he thought I didn't know). But it's a league night nonetheless. And it turns out our friend Paul not only runs the place, but he's playing for the top team.

Steve makes some friends and fills a slot on their team, and they put on a little bowling show.

In the meantime, I make a few passes at Mr. Ripley, and then finally reveal why we're here. That's when the bastard sucker punched me.

Hell Breaks Loose (not literally)

Pauline: We know we need to question this guy, but somehow Steve and his bowling buddies got in charge of the plan. This means that before we know what's going on, he's charging in with them, guns blazing and chainsaws roaring. And then Paul's goons draw down.

There's too much going on, and I'm near where Ripley is, so I go for the gold. I manage to clock him a few good ones, starting with a bottle of brandy, but before it can get all Hal Needham, I'm getting shot. I hold it together and chase Ripley into the ladies' room, where he's hovering over a toilet, trying to hide. And there I am, two inches from him, and I can't friggin' hit him with a club to save my life. Literally. He gets a gun, another goon comes in, and they're pumping me full of lead. Before it all goes dark, I see Ripley turn to water and flush…

Aftermath

Surprisingly, the place did not get burned down.

• 7 out or dead thugs
• certainly dead bartender lady and equipment rental guy
• Dick Clark flushed himself down the toilet
• 3 thugs got away
• one shotgun meth head ran; truck took a stray bullet
• chainsaw meth head alive, out
• one dead shotgun meth head
• ~15 bystander casualties (not necessarily deaths)
• 1 bottle of top-shelf brandy bottle broken over Dick Clark's head
• bar fridge exploded in a shower of ice
• at least 50 shots fired; probably closer to 100
• Pauline out, but alive; purse left behind on the scene [Conceded to stay alive, letting Dick get away]
• Steve out, but alive

Research Paper

Joseph: After the case that confirmed the existence of leprechauns, I decided that the matter needed to be expounded on in the form of an article. I have a variety of contacts that grant me access to libraries of information, and being the academic that I am, feel obligated to contribute new materials. With some assistance from some former students I get my hands on an automatic camera called a Polar Roid.

The blasted thing spits images out at me, falling onto the floor. Between mah boots steppin' on them and some kind of weird chemical exposure, I get maybe two decent shots of the remains. Not that you kin recognize that damn thing after the Polish woman put it in a blender.

So my article is nearly completed. It has been submitted for peer review, which is a slow process in the supernatural world of academia.