Drinking & Dragons

Vat:08 Take the Methheads Bowling

From Drinking and Dragons

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Starring: Steve.gif Steve, Koz.gif Koz, Muscle.gif Amiri, and Paulineicon.gif Pauline
Guest Starring: Metal Meth Heads, Tom Selek "Paul", Dick Clark
Challenge: Dick Clark & his gang of thugs, and stopping "allied" metal meth heads from killing innocents
Location: Pins & Needles Bowling Alley in Verona
Date Played: 12 September 2012

BBQ, a Phone Call and a Delivery

Paulineicon.gif Pauline: I was still a little sore, but we managed to pull of the pig roast. Everything lucked out- we had good weather, and everyone mostly got along. It was a nice little slice of domesticity.

Muscle.gif Amiri: We decided to celebrate some of our recent success and the creation of Pauline's forge by having a pig roast in it. I have to say, it was nice to have some comfort food. I'm just glad I brought some of my mixed greens. Nothing like some ribs and greens!

On Pins & Needles

Paulineicon.gif Pauline: Our break isn't that long though. Early the next week, Paddy gives us the call: Paul Ripley has a location out in Verona. Since we expect it to be a late night, we cut out of work. I spend most of the day trying to get the house in some semblance of order.

Muscle.gif Amiri: A stroke of luck comes our way as one of Paddy's feelers finds out that Paul would be at a bowling alley. Since it is a late night bowling place, I decide to rest up and prepare for the confrontation. Steve and Koz take some time to investigate, but really, it is just some guy in a bowling alley. How much do we really need to plan for one threat?

Bowling League Quarterfinals

Paulineicon.gif Pauline: We head out to the bowling joint and stake the place out. It's hopping because it's a league night. Not like the League nights ol' Jim would go to (those were usually at a strip club- he thought I didn't know). But it's a league night nonetheless. And it turns out our friend Paul not only runs the place, but he's playing for the top team.

Steve makes some friends and fills a slot on their team, and they put on a little bowling show.

In the meantime, I make a few passes at Mr. Ripley, and then finally reveal why we're here. That's when the bastard sucker punched me.

Muscle.gif Amiri: Well, it looks like I was wrong. After Steve challenges Paul to a game and it appears both make each other really fowl up the game, we find that things started to go down hill. Paul ended up socking Pauline in the face and no one did anything about it.

I started making steam to give Paul a good pounding but got stopped by Steve's team on the way there. It looks like Paul owns this place, and not only is the staff bias, but also armed! It looks like maybe there should have been some more planning...

Hell Breaks Loose (not literally)

Paulineicon.gif Pauline: We know we need to question this guy, but somehow Steve and his bowling buddies got in charge of the plan. This means that before we know what's going on, he's charging in with them, guns blazing and chainsaws roaring. And then Paul's goons draw down.

There's too much going on, and I'm near where Ripley is, so I go for the gold. I manage to clock him a few good ones, starting with a bottle of brandy, but before it can get all Hal Needham, I'm getting shot. I hold it together and chase Ripley into the ladies' room, where he's hovering over a toilet, trying to hide. And there I am, two inches from him, and I can't friggin' hit him with a club to save my life. Literally. He gets a gun, another goon comes in, and they're pumping me full of lead. Before it all goes dark, I see Ripley turn to water and flush…

Muscle.gif Amiri: Things went down hill VERY quickly. Steve busted in with his new uzi while the tweekers barged in with two shotguns and a chainsaw. It rained fire and chaos quickly erupted.

Paul ran to the men's room and Pauline and I followed. A thug blocked our way and took a while to take down. A man that looked like Dick Clark soon came out afterward. I started to but two-and-two together to know it was Paul, but the chainsaw maniac took president. He was slaughtering innocent civilians and I had to do something to stop him.

I ran across the sheet of ice Koz created and socked him in the face. He was barely up, something I can attribute to the meth. Once I took him down I took cover behind the shoe rental station. I put down suppression fire until everyone ran away.

Once things calmed down, I realized I left Pauline behind. I know she is more than capable of handling herself, but I was unsure if she got overwhelmed. Well, she did. I scooped her up and brought her to the truck. We motored out of there as quickly as possible to bring her to the hospital. It's sad to say, but those meth heads caused the most damage there. It looks like I have something to take care of next week...


Surprisingly, the place did not get burned down.

  • 7 out or dead thugs
  • certainly dead bartender lady and equipment rental guy
  • Dick Clark flushed himself down the toilet
  • 3 thugs got away
  • one shotgun meth head ran; truck took a stray bullet
  • chainsaw meth head alive, out
  • one dead shotgun meth head
  • ~15 bystander casualties (not necessarily deaths)
  • 1 bottle of top-shelf brandy bottle broken over Dick Clark's head
  • bar fridge exploded in a shower of ice
  • at least 50 shots fired; probably closer to 100
  • Pauline out, but alive; purse left behind on the scene [Conceded to stay alive, letting Dick get away]
  • Steve out, but alive

Research Paper

Joseph.gif Joseph: After the case that confirmed the existence of leprechauns, I decided that the matter needed to be expounded on in the form of an article. I have a variety of contacts that grant me access to libraries of information, and being the academic that I am, feel obligated to contribute new materials. With some assistance from some former students I get my hands on an automatic camera called a Polar Roid.

The blasted thing spits images out at me, falling onto the floor. Between mah boots steppin' on them and some kind of weird chemical exposure, I get maybe two decent shots of the remains. Not that you kin recognize that damn thing after the Polish woman put it in a blender.

So my article is nearly completed. It has been submitted for peer review, which is a slow process in the supernatural world of academia.