Vat:03 Ball Lightning
Starring: Joseph, Amiri, Sophia, Steve, and Koz
Guest Starring: Sinead Cusack, Jeremy Irons, Patty
Challenge: Goblins and Hobgoblins, Bank Robbery
Location: W&J College, Shadyside National Bank Squirrel Hill Branch
Date Played: 22 June 2012
The Ballroom had the following aspects—Dirty Disco Ball; Bagels & Bacchanalia; Thumping Bass (added by Joseph)
Joseph: Havin' found the critter in the mouse trap, Sophia is dead set on analyzing it in one of the university's labs. This is a fine idea. I consult the lexicon of information in my noggin' and in my Monstrous Compendium and come to the conclusion that this feller is a leprechaun. Just as I'm about to point this out I look up to find Sophia sprayed with the lil' fellers insides. Apparently all them there Pollock jokes I've been hearing has a ring o' da truth to 'em.
We head back to the production area and plain as day I see a three foot fella climbing a motion picture camera. I move to stop 'em and find another one o' em tying my laces together. If'n these creature feed on irritation, I reckon that I'm givin' 'em a good meal—I'm pissed. We try to fetch 'em but they lose us.
With no other leads, we head to Sinead's trailer. Inside is a mighty fine mess, but no actress. Amiri starts diggin' around in the dirt underneath and hears voices tellin' him that "They've taken her". At the same time there is a loud commotion and the janitor is hightailin' his way outta the ballroom. Like a bat out of hell we rush inside to find the place a right mess o' trash.
Hidden in the trash are a few of what we will come to know as goblins. An they have apparently drank all o' the Pepsi® under God's creation as an unending stream of piss spews forth. Unrevealed to our eyes until they attack are hobgoblins, which are larger with far less tinkle. The fight is a hard one, and our African friend falls early but is tended to at the end by Sophia's talents. The last hobgoblin and goblin yield to us, though the Hobgoblin escapes when we weren't paying him no mind. There is debate on a proper punishment for the runt and I don't recall the final result.
The fog of war plays havoc with the memories, but I know that spells were flung and magics were used. The baddies was supernatural and the firepower was much needed. At the end of the day we saved the set and folks on the production. We were replaced with another security firm the next day. No good deed goes unpunished.
Steve: Okay, so we found this dead little dude in my mouse trap. Odd that it has a price tag on it. I didn't quite get it, but I have a suspicion that it didn't just walk in there willingly. We all didn't really know what to make of this, so we returned to our duties of protecting the set. Some college punks were wrecking the place, but Koz somehow made it rain, which scared them away. That was good, because they were really starting to piss me off. Aftwords, we did find another little dude, this time trying to sabotage the camera. My powers failed me at that moment, but luckily, Amiri was able to dive in to save the camera just in time. At this point, we're looking like fools with lots of explaining to do, but then something came up: Sinead went missing.
Turns out, she was in the ball room, tied to a disco ball. The ball room itself was trashed, and there were tons of little dudes there(who would later be known as goblins), pissing all over the place. There were also two bigger guys with mohawks(who we would later know as hobgoblins). Eventually the confrontation came to blows, and we emerged bloodied but victorious. One of the goblins surrendered, and his punishment was to "stay clean until you can find a woman to rub sun tan lotion on you". Fitting. End of case. Or is it?
Amiri: The next day on the set was much like all the others. Escilating accidents and ever increasing tempers. To top things off, a bunch of student were trying to start a tiny riot to get onto set. I was occupied with another area of the production set, but I hear Steve and Kos were able to drive them back. Mostly Kos. I think I need to take Steve into the ring and teach him a thing or two.
We eventually get a stroke of luck as the group catches a glimpse of one of the creatures. They are a good bit bigger than the Lucky Charms guy we found earlier, and a ton more ugly. Most of the group leaps into action, only to cause a giant ruckus and almost knock over the camera. I was lucky I had my wits about me and I was able to dive and save it. Without Joe here to bark around orders, I took the place of him and started to grill the group. I have to at least keep up appearances.
After things calm down a little we see that Sinead is not on set. Worried, most of us run off to her trailer. We find that she is not inside and the interior looks like a tornado hit it. Getting desperate, I decided to try to talk to the little fairy people. This was interrupted by the janitor throwing yet another fit. Most of the group goes off to investigate. One of the fay sticks a needle in my ear and in some way it let me understand them say "took her inside." At this point, options flew around like crazy until I got radio'ed to go inside the building.
This didn't go too well for me. I got flanked very quickly by an invisible foe that dug a knife deep into me. What was worse was that it make me unable to activate any of my powers. I quickly fell to the creatures.
When I awoke, I was glad to see that the rest of the group was safe and the day was saved. I even heard a short story about how they enslaved on of the creatures. I don't know how I feel about that, and I also don't like Kos holding on to one of those knives. At least we can move on to better things.
Sophia: I was able to secure a lab space at the university to conduct on autopsy of the small creature that Steve's contraption had captured. Due to the size discrepancy between my instrument size and the organism's dimensions, I was unable to perform the autopsy to the level of precision that I normally like. I was able to save some of the remains in a small plastic container for future analysis.
Back on the film set, the creatures are at it again: tampering with equipment. I am able to spot one of them attempting to sabotage one of the cameras and while I attempted to intercept and capture the thing, it got away. To add to the confusion, the production team is having trouble locating Sinead. Our team is able to locate her, tied up to a disco ball in the ballroom. The ballroom is covered in debris and several of the little things are urinating and generally making trouble. At one point, several of them begin to surround me and one pulls out a knife. Feeling threatened, I began to discharge my weapon. I believe I killed several of the creatures (though I did not examine the bodies). We were able to secure surrender from the remaining creatures, who agreed to leave the film set and to stop tampering with production. We, of course, were fired as film security, but I still believe we accomplished our mission.
It's Okay, I'm the Bank Doctor (Short Case)
Joseph: After about a week's tending to by doctor's and our very own Ms Blender, we are all bonding over some dang device and dinner when we get a call from the VAT tellin' us that a mission is on. We all gather in the African's Jeep save that Koz fella and head to HQ fer directions. Once there we're told that a bank has been broken into and that we are to first and formost protect the interests of the VAT safety deposit boxes. Next in priority is stop the bank robbers. We are to not use any magics nor firearms, or at least as little as we reckon we can.
Hamstrung by the constraints, I make do as best as I'm able. The rest of the folks tend to the primary mission and keep it well under control. I on the other hand, can't just let things alone and I find myself drawn to reconnoiter the location and safety of the hostages. There are only three of 'em and they seem safe. I start makin' my way to 'em when I'm found out by an armed fella. I figure that it's doomsday and I'm gonna see Jesus but instead the whole affair is revealed as a ruse. It were a trainin' exercise to test our abilities. I'm much relieved.
Steve: This one was an odd mission. We were told that a bank had been robbed, and that we were to go there to protect the vault even before the police arrived. See, that was the part that made it suspicious from the beginning, but we went along anyways. We were also told not to use firearms or supernatural abilities, also somewhat suspicious.
So, we go there, and I had no problem doing a little electronic re-arranging to get the gate open with the press of a button. Sophia volunteered to do the talking and distracting while the rest of us went up through the 2nd floor balcony. The plan worked, and we set up a little barricade so they couldn't get to the vault. They did hear us though, but it didn't matter. It was ALL A LIE- a complex training exercise. We're just lucky no one got hurt. Someone could have gotten killed!
Amiri: We are woefully ill equipped and little work as a unit. This mission started off great by quickly turned to chaos.
Patty told us that a bank was being robbed and we had to go and protect the upper vault. We had to limit the use of firearms, and limit the use of essence even more. For some of us, like Joseph, that would be extremely hard to do.
The entry plan went well enough. Steve rigged the front door to open with the push of a button and Sophia would act as the banks registered doctor, sent to make sure hostages were in good health. The rest of us snuck up the back while they were distracted.
From the looks of things, they had automatic weapons as well as sidearms. We were outgunned, especially considering I think I was the only one with one. My plan was simple; make sure the door leading to the vault was secure. We then set up position so that we could either take them by surprise and have them surrender quietly (though our lack of firearms would probably have made that plan moot), or at least make a defensible position to wait them out until the police arrived.
Sadly, Kos thought he made too much noise and threw caution to the wind. He ended up barging through the doors, alerting them to our position. I tried my best to corral the group, but Joseph wandered away. I spent my time making fortifications while the others searched around and checked the doors. We had the fortune of the security door being locked, and that was good by me.
I was getting ready to make the jump on them as they rounded the door but a buzzing went out and "traning exercise terminated" was heard over the loudspeakers. At least no one got hurt. I would have really felt bad if I punched out a guy just in a training exercise.
Sophia: As we were told to refrain from using both magic and firearms for this mission, I felt somewhat shackled. We were told that our main concern was to secure the safety deposit boxes and that the hostages lives were of little concern to us. This struck me as highly unusual, but it also meant that my skills as a doctor would likewise be less than valuable. I decided my best role would be to serve as a distraction. Medical bag in hand, I walked up to the front of the bank and attempted to communicate with the bank robber inside and to indicate to him that I was an unarmed doctor. While I couldn't gain admittance, I do believe I provided a sufficient distraction for the rest of the team. After a few minutes of stalemate at the front, and with the robber losing focus on me, I decided to move around to the side to enter the building through the balcony as the other team members had done. I didn't get very far into the bank before it was made painfully obvious to all of us that the whole thing was a training exercise.
Out of Band
Pauline: I can't say I'm happy about burning through sick time so early on the new job, but I just have to remember: there aren't a lot of people that can do what we do. It's not like they can fire any of us. So, Terrence brought home chicken-pox. Sammy's already had it, but that left me with three other kids that haven't ever had it. And we all know what that means: it's time to get it over with. It also meant going through a few bottles of calamine and plenty of oatmeal baths. Everybody's still itchy, but nobody's contagious.
I hope I didn't miss anything exciting at work.